Divorce is a life event that can ripple through every aspect of a child’s world—including their athletic pursuits. As Georgia Miller, host of the Rooted Sport Psychology Show, shares in her latest episode, the emotional and logistical challenges that come with having divorced parents can significantly impact an athlete’s focus, confidence, and enjoyment of their sport.
Drawing from her own experience as a young athlete with divorced parents, Georgia offers three actionable strategies that her parents used to minimize distractions and create a supportive environment. These tips are not just practical—they’re transformative, and they can make a world of difference for any young athlete navigating the complexities of a split family.
Below, we break down each strategy in detail, offering expert insights, actionable advice, and nuanced recommendations to help divorced parents (and those who support them) foster a positive, united front for their children in sports.
The Hidden Impact of Divorce on Young Athletes
Before diving into the strategies, it’s important to understand the unique challenges athletes from divorced families often face:
- Divided Attention: Worrying about which parent will attend the game, or feeling torn between parents, can distract athletes from their performance.
- Emotional Stress: Anxiety about parental interactions or post-game logistics can overshadow the joy of playing.
- Role Reversal: Children may feel responsible for managing communication or logistics between parents, adding unnecessary pressure.
Georgia’s insights highlight that these distractions are not just minor inconveniences—they can fundamentally affect an athlete’s ability to focus, perform, and enjoy their sport.
Strategy 1: Sit Together at Games—Presenting a United Front
What It Is:
Georgia’s parents made a conscious effort to sit together at every game, regardless of their personal differences. This simple act sent a powerful message: “We are here for you, as a family.”
Why It Matters:
- Reduces Anxiety: Athletes no longer have to scan the stands, worry about who showed up, or feel caught in the middle.
- Promotes Unity: Even if parents aren’t on speaking terms, their willingness to sit together demonstrates solidarity and prioritizes the child’s experience.
- Eliminates Distractions: With both parents visible and together, the athlete can focus on the game—not on family dynamics.
Actionable Tips:
- Set Boundaries: Agree in advance to keep conversations neutral and focused on supporting your child.
- Consistency is Key: Make sitting together the norm, not the exception, to provide ongoing reassurance.
- Non-Verbal Support: Even if conversation is minimal, your presence together speaks volumes.
Expert Insight:
Research in child psychology shows that children of divorce benefit from seeing their parents cooperate in public settings. It reassures them that, despite the separation, their support system remains intact.
Strategy 2: Stand Together After Games—Eliminating Awkwardness
What It Is:
After each game, Georgia’s parents would stand together to greet her and her brother. This avoided the classic dilemma: “Who do I go to first?” and removed any awkwardness from the post-game moment.
Why It Matters:
- Simplifies Emotional Choices: Athletes don’t have to choose between parents or worry about hurting anyone’s feelings.
- Creates a Safe Space: The post-game period is emotionally charged; a united parental presence allows the child to process wins or losses without added stress.
- Fosters Celebration and Support: Both parents can share in the highs and lows, reinforcing a sense of family unity.
Actionable Tips:
- Plan Ahead: Decide where you’ll meet your child after the game and stick to it.
- Focus on the Athlete: Keep the attention on your child’s experience, not on parental issues.
- Model Positive Behavior: Even if you’re not close, a cordial, respectful interaction sets a powerful example.
Expert Insight:
Children are highly attuned to parental tension. By standing together and presenting a calm, supportive front, you help your child feel secure and valued, regardless of the game’s outcome.
Strategy 3: Communicate Consistently About Logistics—Remove the Middleman
What It Is:
Georgia’s parents took full responsibility for coordinating rides, schedules, and other logistics. She and her brother were never put in the position of relaying messages or managing plans.
Why It Matters:
- Reduces Stress: Athletes can focus on their sport, not on who’s picking them up or whether plans have changed.
- Prevents Miscommunication: Direct parent-to-parent communication minimizes confusion and last-minute scrambles.
- Empowers the Athlete: Kids can be kids—they don’t have to act as go-betweens or mediators.
Actionable Tips:
- Use Shared Calendars: Digital tools like Google Calendar or Cozi can help both parents stay on the same page.
- Establish Clear Routines: Set regular pick-up/drop-off schedules and communicate any changes directly.
- Keep Kids Out of Adult Conversations: Handle disagreements or changes privately, away from the athlete.
Expert Insight:
When parents handle logistics seamlessly, children feel supported and free to focus on their passions. This level of cooperation models healthy communication and problem-solving skills.
Additional Recommendations for Divorced Parents of Athletes
- Prioritize Your Child’s Experience: Always ask, “What will make my child feel most supported today?”
- Seek Professional Guidance: If co-parenting challenges persist, consider working with a family therapist or sport psychologist.
- Share the Episode: If you know another family navigating similar challenges, share this Rooted Sport Psychology Show episode for practical, empathetic advice.
Final Thoughts: Selflessness Makes the Difference
Georgia Miller’s story is a testament to the power of selfless parenting. By putting aside their differences and focusing on their children’s needs, her parents created an environment where she and her brother could thrive—not just as athletes, but as confident, supported individuals.
If you’re a divorced parent, these strategies can help you provide the stability and encouragement your athlete needs to succeed. And if you’re a coach, teacher, or friend, sharing these insights can make a meaningful difference in a young athlete’s life.